Reading my comments from a year and a half ago is fascinating! Apparently, then, while I disagreed with the author’s message, I was impressed by the article.

Now as I reread it, the article comes off as a piece of sensationalistic, anti-feminist, anti-humanist, repulsively stereotyping, pseudo-intellectual and unscientific bullshit.

What a terrible mess. Vargas-Cooper makes broad generalizations about the male psyche from … well, from nowhere really. The one anecdote below is the only bit of “evidence” for her case that makes much sense, and of course the one experience really says nothing about the gender as a whole.

And honestly, she throws out sentences like “But equality in sex can’t be achieved.” What a contrarian and cynical piece of work this is.…

So perhaps men are inherently aggressive, perhaps men do have a subconscious desire to debase women during sex—but I doubt it. Vargas-Cooper asserts this claim but does not support it with any real content. And then of course there is the argument I made in my previous comment; being able to shape ourselves (to a certain extent) and defy our biology (to a certain extent) is what it means to be human.

Previous-me made a very good argument below, but I think I was being a bit too generous.

… Am I smarter now, or just meaner?

102828:

…he asked if we could have anal sex. I asked why, seeing as how any straight man who has had experience with anal sex knows that it’s a big production and usually has a lot of false starts and abrupt stops. He answered, almost without thought, “Because that’s the only thing that will make you uncomfortable.” This was, perhaps, the greatest moment of sexual honesty I’ve ever experienced—and without hesitation, I complied. This encounter proves an unpleasant fact that does not fit the feminist script on sexuality: pleasure and displeasure wrap around each other like two snakes.

I actually read this article from another link on my dashboard the other day. I found it somewhat depressing. My immediate reaction was that the author is full of shit, but then I thought maybe I just didn’t want to believe it. Overall, I think there are va[l]id points here, but also things I disagree with.

There are 2 main points about male sexuality which jumped out at me. The first is that in sex, males are inherently aggressive and take pleasure in the displeasure of their partners (as seen in the excerpt above). While I was appalled by this at first, I can now see plausibility in this. But I don’t think I would ever want to make someone else uncomfortable for my own sexual pleasure (granted, I haven’t had any experience upon which to base this view). This is because I disagree with another point Vargas-Cooper made. 

She is very adamant that primal urges overpower reasonability and “civility” during sex. And I just can’t bring myself to believe this. See, while I can agree with this part:

While sexual aggression and the desire to debase women may not be what arouse all men, they are certainly an animating force of male sexuality. They may be unattractive and even, if taken to extremes, dangerous, but they’re not, perhaps alas, deviant. 

I can’t come to terms with her statement that, “the sort of sex…where respect, love, and civic connections are merged into erotically rewarding experience—is utopian.” I don’t think that it’s so far-fetched that men can’t conquer their intrinsic desires and have a satisfying experience. I really don’t. Humans have a sort of consciousness that allows us not to do what we immediately want to do. And, though I often have facepalm moments, I feel pretty optimistic about the abilities of humans. Awareness is a good step—I know I’ll keep this article in mind in the future.

What do you think?

edwardspoonhands:

So every once in a while, someone (or a couple of someones) will get it into their heads that it’d be cool to come visit us in real life by tracking down our addresses and knocking on our doors, or leaving presents on our doorstep or in our mail box.

As harmless as that no doubt is, it is for…