Stanley! You will not die! Stanley!...
Dwight: "I state my regret."
Jim: You couldn't have memorized that?
Dwight: I could not, because I do not feel it. Okay, everyone. I am going to need you to sign this statement of regret as an acknowledgement that you heard it. Okay? Everyone come on up here. It's not a big deal.
Phyllis: It is a big deal. You almost killed Stanley.
Dwight: Yeah, right. I filled him full of butter and sugar for 50 years and forced him not to exercise. Now, take a lesson from Stanley and jog on up here and sign this, okay? Make a line. Just form a line right here. Sign it! Sign it now!
How come this reblog didn't automatically cite its source? Silly tumblr staff; you need to work on chat posts.
morningstarship.tumblr.com/post/75589651/stanley-you-will-not-die-stanley-stanley-barack-is
Feb 6th
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